Is it possible to control how your children turns out?

With the alarming rate of teen pregnancy and other issues arising in our schools and communities, is it truly possible to control our kids actions? Many people say that they are going to do what they want to do anyway but how much control do parents have over the decisions that their children make in thier adolescent years?Is it possible to control how your children turns out?
I think that parents have the greatest influence on how welll adjusted children are in society.





This society; however, makes it difficult for parents to ultimately be as influential as they were in the past. For instance, many of the role models for children have changed and socially unacceptable behavior has become the norm.





Consider teen pregnancy. It was less widespread primarily because promiscuity was discouraged in the past. If you were a girl who slept around, you were a disgrace to your family and to the community.





Fast forward to today where it is typical to see naked women (half naked but you get my drift) all over television and children emulate these examples. ';Hooking up'; is seen as cool instead of something that is deplorable. I'm not saying that the communities of the past were without fault, but ther are many positive aspects that have disappeared. In other words, parenting is a much more difficult job today than it was in the past when it was more of a community effort. Now it is more disaggregated.





I feel like the previous generation has dropped the ball in that instead of spending time with children, they spent money and left the children to do what they want to do.





As a result, we are now dealing with children without parents and our children are thrown into the same population with these kids and expected to behave like they would have if society were different. I think that parents should recognize society's shortcomings and compensate accordingly. Overcompensation results in overprotective behavior which ultimately hinders how children turn out, but all in all parents do have the final say.





The Bible says, train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it.





Those values need to be instilled in childhood when your children are easily influenced so that when adolescence rears its ugly head, your children will have a foundation in how they should act.





Personally, I knew that if I got pregnant in my teenage years, that was the end of my life, but today, kids have no consequences. They have abortion instead of the responsibility of raising their children or their parents who pick up the slack and mess up 2 generations of children instead of one since obviously they didn't raise their first child right if they're pregnant tennagers.





Parents are the most influential and they can control their kids by their values. In other words, no parents can't dictate every single thing that thier children do, but those foundational values always prevail.Is it possible to control how your children turns out?
Parents are chosen to be romodels for their children. You can't control them as much as you want to protect them and this is a natural instinct. I believe that your actions and what you say will deffinately impact how your child turns out and that is the glory of being a parent. You have the right to tell your kid every feeling and thought you have about his/her actions until they are an adult and in some cases can control what they do to an extent. You just have to know when you shouldn't say something. Unfortunately parents are not able to be with their children every minute of the day but if you are confident that you set a good example for your child then that should be your main focus and you should have no doubts.
I do not think it is possible to control how your children turn out. They have free will to choose their own path. However, parents have a lot of influence as the kids are growing up -- maybe more than we realize. It is in the small things, as well as the big things. Parents need to set a good example with their own behavior, provide guidance and rules with love, truly listen to their kids and be involved in their kids lives. Impart good values to your kids. Our children are like sponges and they will absorb what they see and copy behavior they admire. So I say we cannot control them, but we can have a great influence on how they turn out.
If a parent could ';control'; a there kids actions the jails would be empty, crime would not exist, and the world would be perfect. The only think you can do is drill morals and common sense into there heads while they are still young and listen. Once your into teen age years all you can do is prey it did it right.
You can't completely control your kids, if you do they will rebel and they wont learn life lessons. You can educate them, teach them morals and personal responablity. You can instill all of these things in theyre life but ultimately it will be up to them how they turn out. Talk to your child on a regular basis about whats gong on in theyre life and give them valid advice and opinions. I think that's the best you can do. I only had my father growning up and we talked alot, he gave me alot of freedom and trust but if I screwed up I was in trouble big time.
In college I ran into many people who'd been carefully controlled by their parents all through grade and high school, but once on their own they just went WILD.





I think it's a big mistake to try to control your children. I feel the best you can do is try to GUIDE them, not CONTROL them, and the best way to guide them is by example.
Honestly, no parent actually has control over what their children are doing unless however, you live in India per say, where they believe in gentile mutation. yikes !





although, it is possible to raise your kids properly so that when they are out making their own decisions, ( which they will be ) that they are able to chose wise %26amp; healthy ones even when you are not around.
Your biggest contribution to how they will come out is genetic.


Along with that you provide an example of how they should act and how they should react to the world around them.





Do you have an impact on how they come out ….hell yes.





They way you at, react to life, demonstrate honesty, or dishonesty. They are all watched and learned behaviors.





You as a parent are training and molding them for birth to about 16-17. At 16-17 you will see if you did a good job or not based on their decisions.





At the same time love them and make their life hell if they keep making bad decisions. It your right to do so LOL
ah, the classic nature vs nurute debate... I dont think we will ever know. But could you really forgive yourself for not trying to do everything to keep your child out of trouble??





In the end, most trouble kids are okay.... but there's no harm in trying to instill your child with good values and morals. But I dont think there is anyway to completely control them or their life outcome. Heck, we cant even control our own life outcomes :)
Not entirely. I have twins that are 20, they were raised EXACTLY the same way. I raised them with good morals, they were raised in church, anti-drug home and beliefs. Now, one is doing fabulous, has a great job. The other one has been struggling with drugs for several years.





So no, I don't think it's ENTIRELY possible.
your adult child will do what they want.





as children u will have abou t 75% control over what they do. u can tell them NO. however what are u going to do when u r not around.





however, lets pretend that u were there to instill values in your kid. then assume everything is okay.
You can give them guidance but the decision is up to them. Just be there for them, ask them how their day is, be involved in knowing who they are with and let them know you are concerned. Get to know their friends and their parents.
not control.


you could influence them though.





ex: if they grow up in a house were parents smoke and drink, the kid will turn out to do the same. (not always though)
none in adolescent years. Thats why parents should teach their kids the right thing as soon as they know right from wrong. The earliest age to start would be 2 or 3. Good things always start at home.
Control? No. You can just be there to guide them. If you try and control them they will just rebel even worse.
The best parents don't control, they demonstrate proper behavior by good example. Honesty and openness helps too.
i believe if my mother had been more involved in my schooling, and offered me someconstructive things to do with my spare time as an adolecent, things would of turned out better
ok u shouldnt try n control ur kids first of all it just makesz it worse just explain things to them in a calm tone
we have to start controlling them at a very young age
Im having trouble with my parents! Especially my father! Hes a cop! So its even more worse!He sees wat happens to children everyday! And i know and u know that u don't want anything bad 2 happen to ur kids! I make A's and B's i stay out of trouble! I had a fight with my dad! SO a wrote him a letter that went like this.... I am very sorry for having a bad attitude.My behavior is unexcusable.The way i have acted is foolish and childish.But that's it. I am a child.Yeah, i know im growing up into a young women.But im still a child.A girl who has a period once a month.A bad attitude 365 days a year.And fights with u and mom when ur still right.And all of that is saying i love u.But dad, u telling me i cant walk to the bus stop alone.When were n the middle of no man's land! And not trusting me with my boyfriend over at our house.When mom is still here! I know u care about me ALOT!But one day i'll have to walk by myself.Go places with a guy by myself. And u wont b there for me! There will b many other times u wont b there 4 me.Heck, i know im JUST 14 yrs old. I know wat i should and shouldnt do.No drugs,no sex till marriage,no cussing,no smoking. I could go on for hours.I feel like ur suffacating ME! And after he read it. He said thats wat he wantd to hear.Note that i made my decision on writting this letter! He trust me a little bit.
It's possible. My parents were so controlling of me and my sisters and I turn out okay (never done drugs or gotten in trouble in school). However, I am just slightly controlling when it comes of the well-being of my children. I do avoid television contents, what they see, watch and hear, but I do let them do whatever they want if is no harm involve. I hope by being a good role model, bringing them with moral values and respect they are more likely to turn out okay.


I think the key is, be involve in your child's life, be there for them, communication is very important even for a 5 year old.


Communication and being able to express one another is the key.
when I was bad, I was spanked. now as an adult I have an obsessive compulsive disorder, passive aggressive behaviour, problems with social interactions (I'm a loner) and I'm wondering what else do I have.





whatever you do, DO NOT spank your kids. give them love and education. what the heck do they know? they were just born, they need to be educated and show them lots of affection.





when they feel bad, this is the way to go. make them feel guilty about their behaviour. spanking wont help, look at how messed up I am.





it is possible to raise them right. why are there families with no problems at all? be a best friend to your kid and they will turn out fine. you dont want your kid to disown you.





whenever kids do something wrong, hug them and be sad. what will anger solve? what you give, is what you get. yell, show anger and you will get that back.
Parents has no control over how their child is going to turn out but they have control on how they can raise their child. If you raise your child the right way and teach them right from wrong and discipline them they will most likely turn out ok. It is the kid/s that parents allow them to do what they want and say what they want that usually turns out bad. I say that because if a child doesn't respect their own parent there is no way they will respect anyone. I find that hard to believe. Respect starts at home.
No.... You can guide them and teach them morals and be their parent instead of their ';friend';. Set absolute ground rules. Like ';No dating until you're 16. Period'; and don't give in just because your child starts whining and telling you he/she hates you.





I despised my parents when I was growing up because they were so ';strict';. They didn't give me a curfew-- instead, they made me tell them where I was going and who I was going to be with. And believe me, lying didn't work. My dad was Columbo or something. If I lied, he knew it because he spied on me sometimes. Plus, my dad was a counselor and whenever he'd be counseling the family of a knocked up 14 year old girl or a teenage pot head, he'd call me to ';bring some Starbucks to his office';, then I'd see the family and what bad shape their lives were in... scared the h*** out of me. I was too afraid to break the rules at my house.





But their strictness didn't work. They had no compassion or understanding. Everything was ';because I said so';. So whenever I had the chance to go out of town and even when I started college, I'd sew my wild oats. I drank, smoked (on my 18th b-day), smoked pot (once), made out with random boys (two or three times).... even though they told me not to, but more IN SPITE of the fact that they told me not to.





But today, years later now that I'm married, I'm glad they were strict. They're probably the reason I didn't sleep with 1/2 the guys I knew (because God knows I wanted to). So, while their authoritarian method wasn't the best, I can look at my friends who had permissive parents and tell you without a doubt that that method doesn't work either.