What makes people think it's OK to comment on another adult's food choices? Is it power and control issues?

Or maybe that's just ';normal'; in their households? Or they think it's a way to bond?





FACT PATTERN: I belong to a social organization for singles. Actually, I created the club. We get together once a week for a dinner in a different restaurant every week. We have other events but this has happened more than once at dinners where certain females think it's appropriate and acceptable to comment on my food choices. For example, one commented ';Oh, you're eating salad tonight! I'm so proud of you!'; one night. Another evening, a woman was making a fuss because I didn't touch my beans. (I offered to let her take them home but she got all flustered and acted like she was surprised anyone would think she wanted them.)





While it's perfectly socially acceptable to ask a dining companion ';How was your meal?'; or things like that, these people cross the boundaries and are on my nerves. I have felt like saying ';You're not my mother so what's it to you?'; but have managed to remain polite...What makes people think it's OK to comment on another adult's food choices? Is it power and control issues?
I agree. I don't like for people to make comments about what I'm consuming. The way I see it is if I'm the one paying for my meal, then it's my business.





These people that make comments are pushing their opinions on you. They have no right to do that but feel justified because they are friends or family members. It's hard to ignore them, but that's the only way you're going to remain sane.





Here's an idea. The next time someone butts in with a comment regarding what you're eating, deliver a nasty comment of your own. If you can't think of a snappy comeback, then push your plate to them and say ';You're right! How about buying me another more suitable meal? You can start with the filet mignon or some lobster!';





I guarantee you'll have them blubbering as they try to get out of that one. Of course, there's always the ';I've Lost My Mind'; route. As soon as Ms. Know-It-All offers her comment, immediately grab your dinner knife and place it against her throat and say through clinched teeth ';Nobody tells me what to eat! Got that?';





Whatever you do, don't just sit there and take it. Life's too short to have more than one mother.What makes people think it's OK to comment on another adult's food choices? Is it power and control issues?
Good question. When I was a smoker (recently quit...no cigs for 6 months), and would be smoking outside in no way close to anyone, people would go out of their way to make a derogatory comment about my smoking. Often these were people who were quite overweight. They'd comment on my smoking, and I'd say, ';Do you know what the number one killer is in the United States?'; and often they'd respond ';Lung Cancer from smoking.'; I would then say, ';No, it's heart attacks due to being overweight, so you're in more trouble than I am.'; If nothing else, it gave me a chuckle and them some food for thought.


Wish I had a good comeback for you re the food ';police';, but hopefully you'll think of a good one.
just tell them that you are an adult who makes her own choices about what she eats and how much and to please give you the respect you are giving her. dont let them treat you like a child or they will keep doing it. show them that they cannot boss you around
These women that comment on your food choices are just flat out jealous!





You should give them a dose of their own medicine. Comment on all the fat laden foods they are eating and how they will die of a heart attack or something.
I agree that it's very annoying. I do think some people are just making conversation and don't really mean anything by it. There's a commercial I hear on the radio right now - I think it's for an SUV of some kind. Anyway, a guy is taking a group of his coworkers out to lunch. He says, ';How about italian?'; And this one woman says, ';Try salad for a change!'; Then he suggests sushi, and the same woman says, ';Don't you ever eat real food?'; I know it's just a commercial but I keep thinking that I'd push that annoying woman right out of the car!


I think what I'd do in your situation is act very surprised when someone comments and ask them questions about it. Like, ';Why are you proud of me for having a salad?'; Smile but act like you just don't understand. When you offered the woman your beans, I think that was perfect. After all she was clearly interested in your beans, so it was right of you to let her know (and everyone else at the table) that you were willing to let her take them.
Hey Babe something equally as bad are the waitresses at Cracker Barrel salivating over a dessert! This has happened more than once!! My son actually asked this last gal if she had '; missed her lunch';! It is so annoying! They are there to serve not annoy**
We have the same problem here, but we may be more direct. In polite company we might say MYOB (mind your own business) and in a less polite way we would say ';shut the f**k up.





edit


Pat's ';have you missed your lunch'; is more like ';does your elevator not go to the top floor'; over here.


H-man LoL